❝The tippy high of our price hierarchy turns into the lens by means of which we interpret all different values.❞
Everybody has that good friend who sees the world by means of cash. Cash is an important factor to this individual. Cash is the lens by means of which the whole lot is judged, together with the place individuals work, how a lot they make, what holidays they take, why individuals do or do not such as you, or the place to go for lunch. To this individual, cash is their core worth, and all different values are hooked up to cash. Household is valued solely to the extent this individual can present for his or her household. Associates are valued solely to the extent that this individual can rub shoulders with vital individuals. Nature is valued solely insofar as this individual can go on unique journeys.
Everyone knows any person who locations household above all else. To this individual, household is an important factor. Household is the lens by means of which the whole lot is judged, together with how a lot time is spent with household, how huge the household is, how holidays are spent, how shut individuals stay to their household, or what number of extracurricular actions get attended. To this individual, household is their core worth and all different values are hooked up to household. Vocation is simply valued as a method to supply for household. Associates are solely valued as a solution to socialize their youngsters. Nature is simply valued as a method of giving their youngsters one thing to do.
It is easy to think about individuals who have a core worth that serves because the lens by means of which all their different values are measured. Different examples embody magnificence, enjoyable, standing, or journey.
There’s nothing improper with having a core worth in and of itself. The issue is a matter of danger. Having one core worth is like having an undiversified portfolio of investments. You bought all of your eggs in a single basket and, in actual fact, solely have one egg in your basket.
What occurs in case you are unable to specific your core worth anymore?
PARALLEL VALUE SYSTEMS
In her ebook, Meaningful Living, Logotherapy skilled Elisabeth Lukas wrote that value systems have a tendency to come back into teams. The primary group is those that maintain onto one core worth. That is referred to as having a pyramidal worth system. The second group is those that have a number of equally strong values of their lives. That is referred to as a parallel worth system.
With a parallel worth system, many values carry the identical weight. You have got many values from which you’ll be able to orient your life. With the ability to categorical one worth, like household, work, nature, well being, or associates, would not depend on your skill to specific every other worth.
This doesn’t suggest that every one values are prioritized equally in each scenario. You continue to should prioritize values relying on what is going on on. Nevertheless, you might have many values from which to decide on, and so they all add about the identical quantity of worth to your life.
PYRAMIDAL VALUE SYSTEMS
With a pyramidal worth system, you might have one important worth on the high – your core worth. Some other worth that you could be maintain charges far under and is coloured by the lens of your core worth. Creator Mark Mason calls this your God-value as a result of it’s the worth that you simply worship. It is the one worth that issues to you.
If any person has a core value of money, that individual views all different issues like household, love, friendships, and so forth by means of the lens of cash. For instance, they consider their household and associates will solely like them if they’ve cash. Their companions will love them solely as a result of they’ve cash. They assume they will solely be revered if they’ve cash. Every part going improper in life is expounded to cash. Every part boils all the way down to cash.
It isn’t at all times extrinsic values that may turn out to be any person’s core worth. Any individual could have a core worth of household. On this case, all different values, like friendships, work, well being, and so forth, are considered by means of the lens of household. For instance, they go to work strictly as a method to supply for household. Their spare time is spent solely on, say, elevating their children. They separate from members of the family who transfer too distant or do not put as a lot emphasis on household time. Every part boils all the way down to household.
Different core values may very well be work, love, your self, another person, or every other worth. This is not essentially improper; it is simply dangerous.
When you might have your whole values tied up into one undiversified worth, you might be susceptible to not having the ability to express or experience that value. As Lukas says, “If the chief worth in a pyramidal worth system topples, the entire life idea is in shambles.” In different phrases, if one thing occurs to your core worth, no different values are left to take over.
If any person whose core worth is cash comes right into a scenario the place they not have cash, their life loses meaning to them. They may decide themselves as being unworthy of affection, friendships, or pleasure. Since cash was used because the lens by means of which everybody was judged, self-judgment kicks in when this individual not has cash.
If any person’s core worth was household and had their total id wrapped up in elevating youngsters, their life will lose that means when their youngsters develop up and transfer out. They may decide themselves as having no purpose in life as a result of their sole function disappeared when their youngsters left. Household was the lens by means of which everybody was judged, and thus self-judgment kicks in when this individual not has a household to deal with.
If any person had a core worth of labor or vocation and one thing occurs that stops this individual from working (even one thing typically considered as a superb factor like retirement), then they may turn out to be bored and sick with nothing to do as a result of they’ve misplaced their id which was wrapped up of their work.
RETHINKING YOUR CORE VALUE
With a parallel worth system, there are alternatives accessible in the event you lose the flexibility to expertise or categorical every other worth. If any person has a robust worth of household and likewise has different sturdy values like friendships, then when this individual turns into an empty-nester, there’s now extra time to domesticate friendships. If any person values the work they do and has different values like hobbies, retirement turns into a solution to spend extra time pursuing hobbies.
Whereas it is true that you simply nonetheless should prioritize values even in a parallel system, we will take solace in the truth that that is exactly the purpose. If one thing prevents us from expressing one worth, we have now many different values to select from.
Diversifying your private values may be seen as a danger administration technique. Shifting from a pyramidal worth system to a parallel worth system offers you flexibility and choices. It helps hold you from despair if and when one in every of your values cannot be expressed anymore.
Which of those two programs feels nearer to the way you expertise your values? How will you diversify your values?
You get one life; stay deliberately.
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References and Influences
Frankl, Viktor: The Will to Which means
Hagen, Derek: Your Money, Your Values, and Your Life
Lukas, Elisabeth & Bianca Hirsch: Meaningful Living
Manson, Mark: Everything is Fucked
Manson, Mark: How We Judge Others Is How We Judge Ourselves
Manson, Mark: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
PositivePsychology.com: Meaning and Valued Living Masterclass
Observe: Above is a listing of references that I deliberately checked out whereas scripting this publish. It isn’t meant to be a definitive record of the whole lot that influenced by pondering and writing. It’s extremely seemingly that I left one thing out. Should you discover one thing that you simply assume I overlooked, please let me know; I might be completely happy to replace the record.